The News

"You can't change the world, but you can fuck with its head."
--Bill Young

These aren't so much "I updated my page today by putting in a hyphen" as they are me ranting, raving, or rambling.
Choose your poison:

The Old New (5/97 to 9/97)
The tattoo one was pretty funny.

The New New (10/97-1/98)
You'll never walk into a record store again without wondering what the employees will say when you leave.

The Newest New (1/98-9/98)
Bill recycles his email, this time in Earnest. Earnest doesn't like that much.

The Newer than the Newest New, being the New that is the Most Newest of the Previous News, and, in Being So, Would Likely Make Your Head Spin so Hard Your Skull Could Wrench Clean Off at the Neck if it were Just That Little Bit more New (9/98-4/99)
It's new.

What, you bought into that crap?? That stuff's not new! Now, THIS---THIS is NEW! (4/99-5/99)
He's lying! Don't listen to him! It's all lies, I tell you, lies!!!

(wanders down a major city street, talking to himself)
"New...too many new...New is bad. Old is Good...like this hamburger sandwich patty I found behind the MacDonalds. The CIA stole my brain. And they won't give it back! HEY, BUDDY! SPARE A DOLLAR? C'MON! IT'S JUST A DOLLAR!! mumble, mumble damn Stupid Humans, eatin' up all my bandwidth...Fillin' up the Geocities hard-drives...Ooh, Look! A deposit can! There IS a Gourd!" (5/99-6/99)
My tolerance to my medication grows.

What, am I supposed to write something funny here? Screw you, buster. (6/99-7/99)
What he said!

*sob*
They grow up so fast!
It seems like just yesterday it was a tiny baby New, only 4K big, all bursting with the promise of Youth!
Now it just sits on its big fat ass eating Cheetos and hogging the remote. (7/99)
*BURP*
Hey, ain't there even one fuckin channel showin Springer?!

Dumber, Stupid Human! Shawt! Shawt! (8/99)
Now begins the Kill Kill era.

Chewy Newgat Center (9/99)
Filled with creamy newey goodness, New10 really satisfies!

Fresh as New-Mown HEY! (9/99-10/99)
Will the yada yada yada ever cease?

Yada yada yada yada yada yada.... (10/99-11/99)
Evidentally not.

More Crap (11/99-12/99)
Truth in Advertising.

No More Damn Titles for these things! (12/99-1/00 )
I mean it!

Untitled Normal Page (1/00-2/00)

Nessuna Pagina Normale Di Titolo (2/00)

New 22 (The Vacation, Plus 1)

New 23 (6/16/00-9/25/00)
Wherein it updated a lot, then stopped updating for 2 months, then started up in renewed fervor all over again

New 2.0 (8/01-9/01)
Now begins the thoughtviper.com era

New 2.1 (9/01)
Things Fall Apart

New 2.2 (9/01-10/01)
Earth Will Abide

New 2.3 (10/01-11/01)
Like the Longines Symphonette, it doesn't rest

New 2.4 (11/01-12/01)
Why did these things start getting titles again?

New 3.1
What I Did On My Summer Vacation, 2002 Edition

New 4.6 (8/03)
...And Byron Makes Three

Let's Face It, No Matter How I Number It, It's Really New 68 (1/04)

New 98 (Summer 09)
Now Begins the DJ Era

New 121 (Spring/Summer 15)

New 122 (Autumn 15)

new/

back

"You can't change the world, but you can fuck with its head."--Bill Young

"You can't change the world, but you can fuck with its head."
--Bill Young