Friday 1
The viewer is like a sheep who needs to be dragged down a path.
Saturday 2
Making wise remarks is a good way to get in trouble. Saying off-the-cuff things like "A stitch in time saves nine" can make people cranky if they're in a hurry or something.
Sunday 3
Mistrust all young adults who say they know someone who used to party with Space Ghost.
Monday 4 Labor Day
Intergalactic travel is a privelege-not a right.
Tuesday 5
Today is Ramones Day throughout the universe! Join the festivities! Have your last name legally changed to Ramone!
Wednesday 6
No reason is good as any reason. Say "reason" over and over, it makes no sense at all.
Thursday 7
The day your character is fully developed is the day your viewer switches channels to find a different superhero to stimulate his tiny, fickle mind.
Friday 8
All secretaries enjoy a spinach and cheese dip on Fridays-it's a fact.
Saturday 9
Bring home a total stranger.
Sunday 10
All right you little Power Rangers-morph this (high pitched whirring sound).
Monday 11
Call a law office and demand to speak to an attorney, any attorney.
Tuesday 12
Implied vulnerability is a powerful aphrodisiac.
Wednesday 13
I am an absolute slave to stretchy, synthetic fabrics. Look how it moves with me-how it hugs my skin.
Thursday 14
The last thing I would ever want to do would be to put myself in somone else's shoes-for hygiene reasons, mostly.
Friday 15
The undulating, high-pitched whir is my favorite sound effect. It is used when I employ my heat ray. What is your favorite sound effect?
Saturday 16
Practice opening soda cans with your mind, once perfected, do it to a whole vending machine and see how funny that is.
Sunday 17
When attending trade shows and conventions, you should appear, blend in, shake hands and go. Don't collect too many samples.
Monday 18
Never give the true identity of dried, flaky objects stuck on the undersides of your bedroom and living room furniture.
Tuesday 19
If you are confronted about suggesting "naked games" on the set, express shock. Deny all knowledge of such antics.
Wednesday 20
Spend all your money today.
Thursday 21
Today is the first day of the end of the first part of the beginning of your new thing that is still kind of new and is not quite underway but is almost there at the beginning.
Friday 22
Does the Muffin Man have muscles?
Saturday 23
Whenever possible, demand renumeration for your super deeds. Specify U.S. dollars.
Sunday 24
Diamonds are a girl's best friend and rubies are a girl's next-door neighbor. I think that emeralds are a girl's cousin, but I'm not sure. I'll ask her.
Monday 25 Rosh Hashanah
Shave a wildebeest for fun.
Tuesday 26
I feel you may be taking me for granted. I'll not be sharing any wisdom or wit with you today.
Wednesday 27
You missed me didn't you? Maybe now you'll think twice before you take me for granted again.
Thursday 28
I could dispel everything you thought you knew about the time-space continuum-and you would probably believe me because I'm Space Ghost.
Friday 29
Learn to say "I'm on to you" in sign language.
Saturday 30
When eating with relatives harp on the tough, leathery and wrinkled skin of the walrus.