Clunk! Clunk!
"I know that sound! It's the sound your head makes when Dad hits it with the two by four! Solid stone! Trust me on this! I know the colorist didn't bother to read the script carefully enough to color the stump like it's stone, but what do you expect? He also didn't color it like it's a stump, either. Why's it got bark on the cut part?"
"JESUS! Don't sneak up on me like that, Obi-Wan!"
"Yes, my son! You are the one to be known as Super Green Beret! You are the one who is young and noble by nature! You are the one with the strong, broad shoulders...the one with the toned, firm thighs...the one with the cutest little ass! Ohh, Tod! The monastery gets so lonely! There's nothing to do but chant Gregorianly and spank my magic monkeys..."
"I'm only gonna say this once, Obi-Wan--
That sure as hell had better be a light saber you're rubbing against me."
"Look, the minute I take off the Green Beret, I'm back to normal!"
"AHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh, God!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
"Th-that's the funniest thing I ever heard!
You--NORMAL!
AHHH-HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
(wipes tears from eyes)
Yes, clothes and everything! Except for your pants. The monk took those with him.
Let's keep this quiet between us, Tod! I don't need an increase in my antipsychotic medication when I go back to the nut-house. You can do the most good in secret. So secret that I'm going to have to lock you in the attic for the rest of your life."
Yeah, that makes sense. Why let the enemy know that you have the ultimate weapon, and that any further resistance would be futile?
"President Truman, we have built the Atomic Bomb! Shall we use it on Hiroshima?"
"Yes, but don't let them know it was us. Don't tip them off by using a bomber. Just put it on their porch, ring their doorbell, then run away before it goes off.
"Now excuse me, I have to call Moscow on the hotline.
"Hello, are you Stalin? Why, what are you waiting for? Ha ha!" *click*
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