Tod Holton, Super Green Beret, Part One

"SPOON!"

One defenseless Cong gets his neck broken, another gets a machine gun emptied into him from an inch away, a third gets strangled...
It's the scene Spielberg decided was too violent for "Saving Private Ryan."

"I was gonna recommend him for the Silver Star! And moon him!"

"Medals are not what I came for! It was all about the thrill-killing!
Back to Sweet Valley High!"

"...And in other war news, while the godlike entity Super Green Beret was saving the lives of 4 mental defectives, the Viet Congses launched the Tet Offensive and killed thousands of US troops, who died in agony while praying for Super Green Beret to save them.
Way to go, Super Green Asshole!"

"Goodness! Who could that mysterious mass-murderer be?"

"Maybe the GI's just made him up! They're all on drugs over there, ya know!"

"Hey, could you two keep it down? I'm trying to read this blank piece of paper!"

Wait a minute--
Just WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!
Where were the MAGIC MONKEYS?!
You promised me MAGIC MONKEYS, you lying BASTARDS!!

I hate you, Tod Holton, Super Green Beret!



The END of "The Origin of Super Green Beret"--
But Tod Holton, Super Green Beret, will be BACK--
in

"Tod versus CASTRO!"


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