11/7.1

But as long as you're here...
I tried to beat the Geo 30K text limit by writing the last New in Wordpad, which turned into a real buttockal-pain-experience due to the wacky way Geo uploaded Word's txt formats. I finally got it to work by uploading plain txt with Notepad. But it's so annoying I don't fell like going back & rewriting, resaving, & reuploading to fix that obvious typo at the start, where I spell "voting" as "voring."
Which sounds like a version of "whoring," which in an election where the candidates spent three to five BILLION dollars...seems kinda accurate.

11/8

Let's try that again, shall we?

AMERICA--YOU SUCK!!!

"A country gets the government it deserves."--The Comte de Montaigne

And I wrote all that "Don't vote for Nader, you'll make Bush president!" stuff off as propaganda.
Looks like the Bushbaby will win, without actually being voted for by the majority, & it looks like the FL Greens did it. WAH. And Ralph didn't even get that 5%! DOUBLE WAH.
One would hope that this finally wakes the public up to the idea of making the Electoral Dinosaur extinct, but who's gonna do it? I've always said that 1 thing that will never happen in this country is election reform, as the only people who can do it are the 1s elected under the faulty system. Think Bush & the Repub-held Congress are gonna admit, "Yeah, by any sane electoral process, we should've lost"? At least the worthless coke-head can't claim any "mandate from the people." And now begins the "Dubya shows the nation & world what an idiot he is" process.
See ya in 4, Dubya. Daddykins can help soothe that single-term pain then.

I've read 3 different reports on the election, & all refer to the same close elections: Kennedy/Nixon & Humphrey/Nixon. Funny how they leave out the true electoral atrocity, Reagan/Carter. I voted for Anderson...the independent...so he could get the 5% for the federal matching funds...
AUUUGGHHH!!! DEJA VIEW OF HELL!
I went to bed angry that Reagan had won, but confident that the race showed him with only 50.75% of the vote. He couldn't claim that "mandate from Amerika" he wanted with that showing. He couldn't gut the whole nation & turn the clock back to the 50s based on THAT pathetic showing.
Lo & behold, the papers the next day screamed "REAGAN LANDSLIDE!!" based on the electoral college. But only ONE OUT OF FOUR VOTERS ELECTED HIM!!
You know the rest. Cut taxes for the Rich & Spend Spend Spend on the Military. The economy "boomed" for a while, just like your personal economy would if you bought a car & a house on your credit card with no intention of paying it back. Then it imploded, an implosion to the tune of Reagan wracking up a greater national debt than every other president COMBINED. COMBINED!!!!!
Why is this not mentioned today? Back in the Watergate era, the Conservatives became convinced that there was a "liberal bias" in the news media. At 1 point, even TV Guide (publisher's best pal: Reagan) started a weekly feature called "Media Watch," written by the most ultra-Rightist bastards in America. 1 of the worst was a Nixon speechwriter. Funny, when Reagan was elected in his fake "landslide," the column went away. For 10 years, there was NO anti-Government slant in the media. They just pulled their pants down & ignored every insane mumbling of Reagan, & yelled "HURRAH!" when we started that still-unending war against Iraq.
Interestingly, when the bills from the Reagan Years came home, & Americans started grumbling over the wrecked economy...Suddenly there was a "liberal bias" again. Without us once hearing about a decade of Conseravtive Bias.
The 1st place this new bias complaint turned up was in TV Guide. For some reason, they didn't bring back their star "Media Watch" columnist, the 1 who was a Nixon speechwriter. His name was Pat Buchanan.

On the plus side, the CT Sheriffs are no more! Some of the sheriffs are now trying to get jobs under the new, non-patronage system. But not
"White - one of two sheriffs whose arrests on criminal charges helped fuel the reform battle - said he will focus on trying to get the embezzlement charges against him dropped."
Good plan.

11/10

11/12

It's only been up for 3 hours, but the "You Tell Me" thing on the InExob is already telling me something: That there are stupid people reading my page. I'm laughing at the posts, but for the wrong reason. I don't know if I should take it down, or let this become a permanent example of SHAWThood. "Racsist bigget," snarf!!

(Of course, I wrote that around 4:30PM, before some hard-core Inexketeers like Luna, Kiru & Chad started playing the game right)

11/13

From today's Nando Times:

"Bush was looking after, of all things, an infected boil covered by a bandage above his right cheek. 'Not a pleasing sight,' said his spokeswoman, Karen Hughes."
Like there's anything pleasing about Bushbaby. Here's another thing you can quickly do, thanks to Andrea "Flygirl" Schulz.

She also sent me this:

To: Secretary General of the United Nations, Kofi Annan
From: Michael Moore, citizen

Dear Mr. Secretary General:

    Help us! Massive election fraud is taking place in an area that looks
like a banana republic -- but is actually part of the United States of
America! We are sitting here helpless as our leaders appear unable to do
anything about this stolen election.

    On behalf of freedom-loving people everywhere, I appeal to the world
community and the United Nations for immediate intervention.

    There is ample evidence to indicate that the votes of thousands of our
citizens were not counted or, worse, were given to a man who has a sister
named "Bay." Further evidence also shows that hundreds of African American
voters were simply not allowed to vote.

    I ask that you appoint humanitarian ambassador/carpenter Jimmy Carter to
head up an official United Nations team of election observers from Rwanda,
Brunei, Bosnia and South Africa and send them to this state we call
"Florida."  They are desperately needed to oversee the re-count, the
hand-count and any other forms of counting being conducted by people who
apparently can count.

    Remember that guy Milosevic in Yugoslavia trying to claim victory when
he got the least number of votes? He would love Florida! Next to watching
greyhound dogs run in circles, election fraud is South Florida's favorite
pastime (I am enclosing, for your observer team, copies of the Miami Herald
series on voter fraud which won the 1999 Pulitzer Prize).

    It appears on the surface that lame graphic design is at the root of
this ballot problem, especially in Palm Beach County where Jewish votes were
given to a man who always has a nice word to say about Third Reich.

    But even more telling is the situation in the Daytona Beach area. In
that county, the Socialist Workers Party candidate, James Harris, received a
whopping 9,888 votes. When your observers arrive, they will discover that
the socialist revolution in Daytona Beach is running a distant third to
drunken college spring breaks and NASCAR racing. In fact, you will be
hard-pressed to find a single Bolshevik in Daytona Beach, let alone a decent
cappuccino.

    What CBS News discovered is that these 9,888 votes in Daytona Beach for
the socialist Mr. Harris represented more than HALF of his ENTIRE 19,310
votes nationwide! Some might see this a communist plot; election officials
in Florida have tried to pass it off as a "computer glitch." I call it fuzzy
math.

    You should know that the ruler of this disputed region of our country is
the brother of the presidential candidate who is benefiting from these
shenanigans, George W. Bush. He is already beginning to function as the
"President-Elect," even though he got fewer votes in the country than his
opponent, Al Gore! The networks had reported that Gore won the state of
Florida, but after the one Bush (the candidate) made a call to the other
Bush (the governor of Florida), suddenly the Bush running for president was
ahead.

    This must sound very familiar to you. I know you have had to deal with
"the relatives" before in places like Indonesia and The Congo, and, hey, who
can blame them? Everyone wants to see family members do well. But in this
case, the self-declared "President-Elect" is also the son of the former
President who was dethroned by Gore and his running mate 8 years ago. Does
any of this make sense? Would it help to know that the father of the
"President-Elect" was also the head of the CIA? Just so you know what you
are getting into.

    If you look at the map of the U.S., Florida is the section that seems
like it is about to drop off into the sea. It is a backwater area whose
climate and topography -- swamps, mosquitoes, unbearable humidity, reptiles
everywhere -- resembles much of the Third World. It is truly a scary place
-- ask any German tourist! It is the easiest state in which to buy guns in
the United States. Prisoners are executed without the sort of due process
you get in other parts of the world. According to your own U.N. report, more
children are immunized in Jamaica than in Florida, and a baby has a better
chance of living to see it's first birthday if it is born in Cuba than in
Miami. Most of us just go there to get warm in the winter -- and, for many,
Arizona is looking better and better these days.

    Please, Mr. Annan, you have to get here right away. The self-declared
"President-Elect" is trying to stop the counting of the ballots. He knows
what these ballots will reveal. His propaganda ministers have been lying to
the American people for days now, saying things like "this kind of ballot is
used everywhere, including in Chicago for Jesse Jackson's son!" Our esteemed
journalist, Ted Koppel, held up the Chicago ballot last night on TV to show
that it looks NOTHING like the Florida ballot. He told the American people
they were being snookered by the Bush people.

    Mr. Secretary General, you are already at the U.N. in New York! Flights
from NYC to Miami leave every 15 minutes! Mr. Carter is in the state right
next to Florida! Stop by, pick him up, and tell him he may need at least his
hammer, if not his nails.

    If the state of Florida refuses to admit your international team of
election observers, I implore the Security Council to impose economic
sanctions against this place which calls itself "the Sunshine State." The
rest of us in America can no longer tolerate their rogue operations. Please
remember this is the same state which earlier this year turned kidnapping
into a legal sport when they refused to return a little Cuban boy to his
father. We had to put up with that circus for nearly eight months.

    Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. If this kind of
thievery were happening in any other part of the world, we would have bombed
the crap out of it by now. I am hoping for a peaceful resolution to this
crisis and for the self-declared "President-Elect" to be returned to his box
seat in Arlington, Texas.

    I know you are the man to save us.


Yours,

Michael Moore
mmflint@aol.com
www.michaelmoore.com

P.S.    Please note. This is not a partisan request on my part. I did not
vote for Al Gore. In fact, I am currently in hiding, fearful for my safety,
having voted for Ralph Nader. I am now being hunted down by liberals who,
for the first time in years, have finally found something to get angry
about. Any assistance your people can give ME for safe passage back to
Michigan will be greatly appreciated.

I just retroactively added The Planet Project Global Survey to the Ob, & I'm putting it here, too, in case you've already read this week's. It looks cool, & I think it would be amusing to have part of their demographic base be composed of Inexketeers. Hopefully without Cap'n Dilly or Brent the Britney Boy. You have to preregister, but I'm not sure if the deadline is the 15th or later. So do it now!

When I started working 40 hours a week again, the main thrill for me was SLEEP. That 2 hours a day less work was the difference betwixt going to bed & waking up when I had to, & going to bed when I was tired & waking up when I was rested. I thought that it would end the sleep-too-late-on-weekends problem.
Sun night I slept for 13 hours, & today 12. Note that the entymological similarity betwixt "narcolepsy" & "narcotic." I'm hooked on the Sleep Drug.
Note also that I've used "betwixt" 2 times more than ever else in my life.

Grey, cold, rainy day. It was better spent in bed, I think, especially as KK now uses me as her pillow. "Sleep is the best game," as Kitty or kitty would say or meow. I have to go finish watching "Invaders from Space" now. I'd forgotten my old Starman videos, & put it in the VCR tres late last night. Starman is the Japanese version of the 50s Superman, an old b&w TV show hacked up into a "movie." He fights the Coolamonian (sp?) Salamander Men, the inevitable Evil Aliens. The 1st shot of a CSMan looks effective; wide-mouthed, blunt-nosed, & wearing my trenchcoat. Too bad they follow this shot with a close-up, revealing that most of the mouth is bad greasepaint.
Still, quite entertaining, with a Cast of A Lot, but mainly some avant garde dance troupe as CSMen (& CSWomen!). I guessed this by the fact that there are several long scenes involving CSMs disguised as, yes, a Japanese avant garde dance troupe. "Only a Coolamonian can move like that!" a good guy suggests.
The fights are wacky. They look like avant garde dance moves, with the accents on FABULOUS BACKFLIPS!! I think that the movie was about 72% Backflip. A CSM starts a-flippin', & Starman backflips down the street after him. Me, I'd just run up & kick that bad ole Sally-mander. Kick him anywhere at any time, & I'll bet he'd just flop flat on the ground, wherein you could gets yerself in a good stompin'! Starman is an Alien with the ability to make himself look like a pudgy, middle-aged Japanese man in a leotard and a *MAGIC WATCH*. There's precious little...okay, NO...real info on him on the net that I can find, though there is a short review of my other Starman video, "Evil Brain From Outer Space". I originally saw these as a stoned college freshman at Oberlin. I was immediately sold by the appearance of the Highest Council of the Planet Wackyheads. "Highest" is right...
I'm glad that that review of "Brain" doesn't mindlessly slag the movie. These guys were trying, dammit, to make something entertaining with a microscopic budget. Why not make the Aliens a dance troupe? I'll bet the dancers worked for the TV exposure, & the show is more interesting for the bizarre kung-fu ballets. OK, so the Salamanders shot "radioactive breath," badly animated rays with lightning in them. In Japan 10 years after The Bomb, I'll bet anything radioactive scared the crap out of kids & made the adults unsettled.
There was a scene in "Invaders" that struck me as quite effective. 3 children are walking through the woods, chasing butterflies in the mist. It seemed like someone's evocataion of a childhood memory. But there were crashes of thunder in the background, & 1 child's constant dread that something bad was about to happen. It did, in the form of dancing Coolamonians. But this was made by people 15 years after the War. When they were kids or teens, distant booming & constant dread went together, as American B29 bombers turned whole cities into flaming ruins. A playful walk in the woods could lead to seeing your friends killed by a stray bomb; the walk home could lead to finding your house burning & your parents dead.
Then Starman came & saved them!! No wonder these shows were popular then.

11/14

How does the rest of the world see us? A reaction of bemusement comes from the political columnist for the New Zealand radio station 95BFM, Mark Proffit:

Does it occur to anyone else that the run-up
to the "real" Millennium is quite a bit more millennial than the one
everybody celebrated last year?
         The Y2K Bug was a basically boring software issue that -
because it was so comprehensively anticipated - didn't happen. This
year we've got irreconcilable conflict in the Middle East, a very
oddly-shaped global economy - and, now, the job of Most Powerful
Human unlikely to be conclusively filled any time soon.
         It is unfair that we and our fellow non-American citizens of
the world should be subject to the oddities of a 200 year old
electoral system that routinely struggles to attract the attention of
even half its voters, but that's the way it is.

         Voting in Florida has been a bit iffy in the past, but it
hasn't mattered too much. This time, everything hinges on it - and
it's a complete mess. The voters of the traditionally Democratic Palm
Beach precinct made a mysterious plunge on the far-right nutter Pat
Buchanan, who got more than 3000 votes in a place where he could
normally expect squat. Then there are the 19,000 ballots discarded
from the original count because voters had apparently voted for both
Gore and Buchanan.
         The Democrats have sent in a planeload of lawyers to litigate
and it is entirely possible that this could drag on for months - well
past January 20, when the new president is supposed to be
inaugurated. No one's sure what happens then.
         Even if every cock-up is unscrambled and George W. Bush
enters the White House, the small fact of his having done so on the
basis of fewer votes than his opponent will haunt him for four years.
After two years and tens of millions of dollars worth of campaigning,
the president's mandate is missing.
         We might take the chance to ask a few more questions about
the distant democracy that has so much to do with our lives.
         Why on earth do they hold it on a Tuesday, and not a Saturday
when people might find it a bit easier to get to a booth?
         How can a dead guy be elected to the Senate?
         The son of the last-but-one President prepares to enter the
White House. The wife of the incumbent gets herself elected to Senate
with, apparently, a future tilt at the top job in mind. Should we
fret that the dynastic tendency hitherto associated with the
unwilling democracies of the Middle East and Asia appears to have
taken hold in America?
         Like most non-Americans, I struggle to understand how 48
million people could want to be governed by a main so plainly dim as
Dubya. He has reeled through life on little more than charm and a
talent for inducing people to give him money. His career as an oilman
was a disaster for his investors. His fortune as a baseball magnate
was built on $200 million worth of public money.
         Under Dubya, Texas has become a toxic waste dump specialising
in judicial murder. It has more poor and homeless families, the
lowest minimum wage and more children with no health insurance than
any other state.
         Bush himself is in the pocket of big oil and pharmaceutical
companies. If he does advance to the White House he will be the most
compromised President in history. He has apparently only a tenuous
grasp on foreign affairs and has only been out of the US three time
in his life - and that's not for want of money to do so.
         Gore is pompous, privileged and thoroughly a politician. But
his opponent is just plain weird.

11/17

Wouldn't it be nice if I updated this?
Well, here you go. It's not much, but I've been unchatty of late. My monthly search for "inexplicable object" (the source of more InEx links than you'd think) turned up this little toy. I don't know what "Kabalarian Philosophy�" is, although "SCAM" comes to mind, as a "full report" is only $45. Typing in "William" led to a somewhat accurate assessment of my personality. Hey, wait--no one calls me that! "Bill" & "Billy" (my family calls me that last 1, don't you DARE try it yourself) turned up a very inaccurate assessment. Apparently, there are scads of parents naming their children Dingo, Nerf, Concrete, Atari, Pokemon, Potato, Pig, Dork, Barf, Dung, & Stinky, as those all returned results. Stinky had the same assessment that Billy had. "Your ...salesmanship [is] often sufficient to bring about fulfillment of your ambitions." Yeah, "HI! My name is STINKY!" always wins me over in a sale. Oh, yeah, your "generative organs" willl suffer if you're named that, as the Kabalarians believe that your name can actually cause genetically transmitted physical conditions. "Zippy" gives a reasonable approximation of the personality of my favorite Pinhead. "Cthulhu" is worth trying, too.
Whoops, gotta go, as William's "prone to suffer from weaknesses centering in the head." Dag nab these head-voices!
"The name of Poptart gives you a clever, quick, analytical mind, but you suffer with a great deal of self-consciousness..." And fear of toasters!

My Mom, on the election:
"You couldn't make this stuff up. If it wasn't getting tedious it would be really funny. Who ever heard the word "chads" before last week and now we're talking hanging chads, dangling chads, dimpled chads, pregnant chads. What's next - drooling chads?"

11/21

I planned to take the "READ MY LIPS: NO NEW BUSHES!" bumper sticker out of my rear window when the election was over. When it magically didn't be over, I left it up as a joke. I took it down today. 2 weeks is enough of a joke for me.
I suppose you're sick of hearing about it, too. I'm kinda hoping that Bush does win. The next 4 years of either guy will accomplish nothing, given the way Congress is locked up. And in 2004, there's no way that Gore will be nominated. The real lesson of Nader is that the Dems wouldn't've lost those votes if they didn't run a guy only 2 inches to the Left of Bush.
That said, read this. This is the other reason Bush will accomplish nothing. Only the corporate-owned media is preventing shit like this coming out. As another bumper sticker I have says, "It's the Hypocrisy, Stupid." Everyone in America is held to a different standard than Mr Stupid.
As I type this, NPR broke into the music to give the results of the FL Supreme Court ruling. Here we go...

ARRRGGGHH!!! It's STILL not over!!

Here, go read something I saw on The Null Device blog. I've read about half on this site, & they're interesting. So far, this is my fave so far. It's the type of thing that makes me wish that I could write, rather than merely comment.

11/22

OK, I don't really know what to make of this offer to join Round 2 of WRATH! It was sent to me & 16 others today. It's a web version crossing Survivor with Big Brother with Clue with Psycho. The writing style (& the original participants) implies "teenage." Kitty & Govynda & Luna & Cole belie the idea that young'uns can't write, but the general net proves it. I really don't think that this Phat Cheops guy is going to see results from emailing such Web heavy-hitters like Lore from Brunching Shuttlecocks, Seanbaby, or the Darwin Awards. Kinda looks like he's hoping for a link from a major website, though at only 2000+ hits a week, I don't know why I'm there. But, WTF, why not sez me. I answered the questionaire:

BASIC INFO:

>>Name:

Bill the Splut aka Thoughtviper aka The InExOb Guy

>Sex:

Asexual. I reproduce by budding.

>Birthdate:

April 6th

>Place of Birth:

Nutrient tank in a secret lab deep in the Brazilian rainforest

>Where you live now:

Nutrient tank in a secret lab deep in the Connecticut suburbs

>Homepage:

Several.

>LIKES & DISLIKES

LIKE: My cat Kill Kill

DIS: STUPID, STUPID HUMANS!!

I ALSO LIKE OR DISLIKE: Puppies, heroin addiction, thermonuclear war, long walks in the woods, diarrhea, France, non-fatty acids, massive internal hemorraghing, human brains, SpaghettiOhs, flying monkeys, the Pocket Fisherman

>Favorite & Least Favorite Movies:

Fave: "Voyage Into Space," starring Johnny Socko & his pet giant robot, Giant Robot. They fight a big floating eyeball! And win! Then, there's this eggplant-headed Emperor Guillotine, and he grows real tall & tries to kill the world with his exploding fingernails, but the giant robot Giant Robot flies him away to space, & they both explode!!
It's a lot like "The Iron Giant," except filmed by a short bus full of Japanese lunatics on acid.

Least: "Cherry 2000." Or "3000," or whatever number it was. "Cherry 85" would be a good title, & also give us a clue as to the collective IQ of the movimakers. A guy's personal fuckbot shorts out during robo-sex when his dishwasher overloads, & he goes on a personal quest to find replacement parts. So it's like 90 minutes about a guy getting a vinyl patch for his blowup doll. Plus it stars Meg Ryan.

>Favorite & Least Favorite

Songs: "Backwater" by Brian Eno. I'm a sucker for any song involving a senator from Ecuador who talks about a meteor.

Least: "Sometimes When We Touch" by Dan Hill.

>Favorite & Least Favorite Bands:

Fantastic Plastic Machine

Least: Plastic Model Kit Boy Bands like N'Sync & etc.

>Favorite & Least Favorite Foods:

Fave: Human Brains, served while the victim is alive & screaming!!
WAIT! Not human brains! I was joking! Ha! Ha! Seriously, I would never eat a human brain. Not with the way the undulla oblongata gets stuck in your teeth. I really like Mac 'n' Brains.
CHEESE! Mac 'n' Cheese.

Least: "Chicken Voila!" by Birdseye. Birds' eyes are better. Or human brai--
Never mind.

>Favorite & Least Favorite Actors / Actresses:

Fave: The guy who does Bender on "Futurama." No, wait, the guy who does Fry on "Futurama." No, wait, me at a family gathering.

Least: Adam Pauly Sandler-Shore

>Favorite & Least Favorite TV Shows:

Fave: Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Least: Everything else

>Favorite & Least Favorite Books:

Fave/Least: The Bible, but it depends how you're reading it.

>Favorite & Least Favorite Subjects in School

Fave: English

Least: Gym

>Favorite & Least Favorite Websites:

Fave: http://www.yellow5.com/pokey/archive/ INDEED, OLD BEAN! GUN!!

Least: The Zork & Zeebil Archive. I don't have the url handy, & you're blessed by that

>PERSONAL INFO:

>Sexual Orientation:

Asexual! I said that already! What part of "Asexual, I reproduce by budding" do you not understand?!

>Religion:

Animist. I believe that there are spirits in rocks.

>Sexual Experience:

CHRIST!! B-U-D-D-I-N-G!!!!

>Favorite Quote:

From http://www.dolphinsex.org/: "Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one-night fling."

>Political Bent:

Bleeding-heart Liberal.

This means that I like it when conservatives are found with their hearts bleeding. And outside their bodies, throbbing in the gutter.

>Prominent Personal Beliefs (freedom, abortion, >terrorism, racism, etc.):

Yes, we should be free to abort rascist terrorists.

>MEDICAL / HEALTH:
> >Disorders:

Reverse Tourette's Syndrome. I cause other people to swear uncontrollably.

>Diseases:

Acromegaly & shootlasersfromeyesitis. *ZAP* Whoops! Sorry! it's the shootlasersfromeyesitis acting up again. *CRUNCH* Whoops, crushed your skull like an egg again. It's the acromegaly. OK, it's really this 6-foot Stilson wrench. Like it makes a difference to your skull.

>Allergies:

Southern Baptists

>Medication:

Self-medicated: Guinness & Chartreuse & THC are wonder drugs. They make me wonder if I should take more drugs! HA HA!
I'm kidding. I get HIGH ON LIFE! And stolen pineal glands. Are you still using yours?

>Phobias:

Paralyzing fear of flying monkeys wielding Pocket Fishermen. It doesn't happen often, but if it did, I'll bet that YOU'D be scared shitless, too.

>Fitness Level:

Excellent. Can watch aerobics shows for hours without tiring.

>Combat Experience:

17 years in retail. 18 years of watching "The Road Warrior." Several years in China mastering "Garden Weasel Style" Kung Fu.

>Scars / Injuries:

A massive scar on each kneecap, from when I had Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis when I was 2, & they slit me open to stick tubes in my knees to suck the fluid out.
That part is true, actually.

>QUESTIONS: >
>If you had to use a household appliance as a weapon,
>what would you choose?

Premeditated: Refrigerator dropped from 3 stories.

Spontaneous: Blender, set on "frappe." How more embarassing can it be than to go to Animist Hell & have to tell Hitler & Attilla the Hun & Nixon, "Uh, I got frapped to death. You?"

>Are you aggressive, passive, or subversive?

YOU ASSHOLE! DON'T ASK ME SHIT LIKE THIS!!!
Umm...mumble mumble. I dunno. Mumble.
Wait...let me *freshen* that Bud Light for you...Ignore that slight scent of prussic acid.

>Instigate or react?

Hide.

>Where would you like your room in Murder Manor to be?

The one best fortified. If it has a private bathroom.

>Are you good at games like Hide and Seek, Duck Duck
>Goose, and Tag?

I was the neighborhood champ at Duck Duck Goose, until the other kids' parents discovered I was playing my own variant, Duck Duck Savage Blow With A Ball-Peen Hammer.

>Upon winning WRATH, what would you do with your >newfound fame?

Bring Joy & Happiness to the World's Children! By repealing that dumb law & declaring that, from this day henceforth, PLASTIC BAGS REALLY *ARE* TOYS!!

>ADD WHATEVER YOU�D LIKE:

Garlic & a tablespoon of basil

Bill the Splut