11/11

*Sigh* Another New.

Another shining example of wasted potential that visits our store too frequently is a guy whose bug-eyes & arms-held-out jerky movements resemble nothing more perfectly than a marionette. THUNDERDRUNKS ARE GO! Rudy had the distinct...pleasure...of serving him 1st thing in the morn yesterday. No one comes in that early except billion-year-old seniors who wake up at 4AM, & total pathetic alkies. Class, which do you think he was? Before you answer, here's a hint:
The front of his shirt was coated in damp vomit.
Pencils down, people.

Here's another quiz. Ever since Macrosoft bought Hotmail, the SPAM we never got before we constantly get now. I received this 1 TWICE today, from 2 different addresses:

Could you use $10,000.  This is no joke!

Do you like to write short stories and essays?  Do you like to
win money?  Well this
contest gives
anyone, anywhere the chance to enter and win!  See our home page
for more
information!

http://members.home.net/essay

11/12

Geocities made me put my password in twice tonight, "for increased security." If you forget the stolen password 5 seconds after putting it in, you're not going to be hacking Geo sites, you couldn't even MAKE 1.

Latest inappropriate FEAR THIS! sticker sighting: On a lime-green Geo Metro hatchback. Oooh, FEAR the car that's top speed drops to 45MPH when there's a bag of groceries on the back seat!

Speaking of fearful vehicles...Hmm, there's a firetruck opposite the condo driveway. I wonder what happened to the apartment complex down there. Hey, there are firetrucks all over my complex, I wonder wh
My condo! MY CAT!!
Dramatic, but nothing to worry about...Some asswipe tossed a match into a pile of raked leaves. Apparently, the fire was huge at 1 point; I'll have to glance over tomorrow to see what the damage is when the sun's up.
On the other side of where the fire was is the high school. Gee, do ya thinks there's a connection there?

Old lady says, "I'd like to place an order to be delivered for Thanksgiving." I hand her pen & paper. "Oh, no no no, I'd just spell it wrong. You write it down." "OK," I say, expecting her to want Chateau Les Aigrieres or such. "What do you need?"
"2 cases of Bud Light & 2 cases of Bud in the pony size."
Pony. That's a tough 'un.

11/13

The 13th of November. It was supposed to be our anniversary.
Well, (looks over at small white furball chasing toy across the floor) at least I'm spending it with someone that I know loves me!

Dumb bumper sticker sighting: "Work Free Drug Place." On a delivery truck for a local pharmacy. They either have a highly developed sense of irony, or none whatsoever.

All-request weekend on the Oldies station at work. Ever hear that song, "Rock & Roll Heaven"? You know, where all the dead 60s & 70s singers go to *HEAVEN* & form a band? "If there's a Rock & Roll Heaven/You know we've got a hell of a band!" Jimi Hendrix, Jim Croce & Bobby Darin in the same band would most definitely NOT be heaven. What would they play, "Is You Is Or Is You Not Bad Bad Leroy Brown the Knife"? I thought rock music was inherently Satanic anyway. They should be in Rock & Roll Hell. "Over there's Jimi, eternally choking on his own puke/There's a big fat psychotic Elvis, have you got a TV set he can shoot?" Darin could sing, "Splish splash, I was takin' a bath/In a bottomless pit of my filth!"
Ahh, the mid-80s, when we didn't have to worry about Y2K, just Backward Masked Satanic Lyrics. The Reverend William E. Wildmon "discovered" that particular plague. People--hell, CONGRESS--swallowed that line of utter & complete crap whole. No one asked how you could be affected by something you couldn't understand. No one even thought it odd that Wildmon insisted that there were Satanic lyrics in THE THEME SONG TO "MR. ED"!! Let's all sing along!
"Oh, Satan is Lord of course of course
And no one defies the Lord of the Flies of course!"
Straight from the demonic horse's mouth, courtesy the I'm-not-insane Reverend. Or maybe the horse's other end.

11/14

PS to last message: (WARNING: INCOMING OBSCURE JOKE!) If there's a Rock & Roll Heaven, is Moulty's arm there?

11/16

I went shopping yesterday, & ended buying everything I didn't plan on buying. An Atari 2600 cart at the Salvation Army ("Outlaw," complete with instructions! Woo!), some books at a temporary clearance place (all comic strip collections--$7 for the Doonesbury 25th Anniversary, can't complain--except for a news of the Weird collection, "The Concrete Enema." No, I haven't found out what the title refers to yet), & some random crap at Ocean State Job Lot. I haaaaaaaate Xmas, having spent my entire life working in retail, so I find great satisfaction in watching Kill Kill gut her new catnip Santa toy (laugh THIS off, you jolly old elfin fat-ass!). I also impulse-bought a foam rubber robot clock (long time readers of the News know that this combines 2 fetishes, clocks & robots). At 2.99 it was an instant sale, but the best part was when I got it home & saw the bullet points on the Chinese-made box:

Soft
No Fear of Water
Intellectual
Fancy

11/17

Not too much SHAWTy goin' down...A woman walking 30 feet into the store to ask me "Are you closed?" Yep, that's why the door's unlocked. Another asked me, "What wine do you recommend for someone on blood thinners?" Uhhh...Gallo Hearty Burgundy? (GEDDIT?!) Now in the convenient IV drip bag.

I read a rant on Kitty's page that I had to ask her about. Near the end she tries to match her friends with Sailor Moon characters & says "Bill could be Taiki at a stretch." She described him to me as "the least asshole member of the Sailor Starlights," which I guess could be construed as a compliment. I decided to investigate further & discovered...it's 1 HELL of a stretch. OK, we both have brown ponytails, but I'm not so much in touch with my female side that I can BECOME 1, replete with shiny black pleather hot pants. But, looking at this picture...I'm kinda HOT! Yeah, I'd do me. I wouldn't throw me out of bed! I'd sure like to get into my pants!
Make sure you click that link, now. Look at what my "special attack" is. Cartoons, they're different in Japan.

11/18

Inexplicable bumper sticker: "Remember when sex was safe & diving was dangerous?"
Diving?!

My day was made when Jessica made a surprise visit to the store. Here's the joke she told:
A bear & a rabbit are crouched next to each other in the woods, taking a shit. The bear asks, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit said, "No." So the bear picked up the rabbit & used him to wipe his ass.

Hey, Jessie has an interview Friday for a new position with better pay! I want all you SHAWT readers to beam lucky thought-waves at her! beam beam beam...

11/19

My Friend Jesus left another letter on my windshield. It was the exact same 1 as last time!! Some friend He (you) turned out to be!

If you wonder why retail people seem cranky or blase sometimes, ask yourself this question: Why is that? Then, when the question's been answered, ask it 2 more times. How quickly would you get annoyed, giving the same answer to the same question 3 times in a row?
"Do you have XXXX?"
"No, we're sold out."
"You don't have any more?"
"No...we're sold out."
"Do you have any more in back?"
(NOTE: Don't ever ask that 3rd question. When you get the answer "No" the person answering it is mentally adding "...you fucking MORON." Ahh, yes, The Backroom, where all your dreams come true. There is no business ANYWHERE that keeps the shelves empty & the backroom filled, unless they're shooting for a quick bankruptcy. Seriously, I get asked that question about 75% of the time I say we're out of something, & I've been asked at every job I've had in the last 15 years)
Where's the wiggle room in "NO WE DON'T"? Am I expected to suddenly crack under the pressure & sob "Y-Y-YESSS! We have it! The backroom's piled to the ceiling!" Why would I lie twice, then tell the truth?
The record in the Answer the Same Question Derby came at Lechmere. A woman asked for a Harry Connick CD we didn't have, ultimately being told 4 times that we didn't have it. 4 hours later, the 2nd shift guy came in & I went to lunch. When I got back, Tim said "You wouldn't believe this woman I just had! I told her we didn't have her CD 4 TIMES!" (pause) "She wasn't looking for Harry Connick, was she?" (pause) Uh...Yeah." (pause as we stare incredulously at each other) Nah. Couldn't've been her. Not after 4 hours. Another 4 pass, & as I'm ready to leave, the warehouse manager walks into the dept shaking his head. "Man, you missed this woman giving us hell over some CD you didn't have! She insisted we had it in the warehouse!" ME: "Harry Connick Jr?" TOM (startled): "How did you know?" 3 visits over 8 hours. Cuz we're in the business of not selling our product.
The record was almost shattered today. I told this old bag 6 TIMES that RIGHT HERE is where the Spumante is. Then I asked her twice if, by "brandy," she meant flavored or unflavored. THEN I pointed at the brandy 3 times saying "It's right here." I was pointing a FOOT away from her empty head. THENNN I had to say 3 times that No, I don't know what the difference between schnapps & brandy was. She came up to pay, & announced "I heard on the radio that if you drink a lot, it reduces the risk of stroke. But my stroke medicine says right on it, 'Don't take with alcohol'!" I said that she was prly thinking they meant "Drink 1 glass of red wine to reduce the risk of heart attack." She said "Brandy [80 proof Mr Boston, meant to be drunk straight--& I do mean DRUNK] is very good for the heart! But my son won't let me drink, so I sneak some." He may not like your drinking cuz of the STROKE PILLS. Finally she asked, "Can I take this out in the shopping cart, if I bring the cart right back?" "Yes." "Do I have to bring the cart back?" KEEP the fucking cart! Just don't bring YOURSELF back!!

11/23

Well, it's been a real SHAWT drought of late. Not a lack of stupidity, of course, just a lack of amusing stupidity. And ramming a few hundred cases of booze onto the shelf while dealing with the holiday tripling of business doesn't lend itself to quiet reflection on the nature of human dumbocity. (Yes, it is the Holiday season...Turkey Day I don't mind, but I saw my 1st Xmas-decorated house today, heard my 1st Xmas song last week & the 1st Xmas radio ad a week before Halloween...) This is the time of year when we get the people who've never set foot in a liquor store until now. I've heard every pronounciation of "zinfandel" possible (most popular: Ziff-NAN-dill), & had 10 people today ask where something was while they were standing next to it. Not stupidity here, just unfamiliarity. Tomorrow is the day when the rest of the world says "Yeah, I'm gonna quick-hit-up the packy on the way home from work today. I got my grocery shopping done last week, so I wouldn't have to stand in any lines!" & can't understand why the registers are 10 deep with people just like them.
Oh, I'm supposed to say something FUNNY now, huh? Well, take what you can get cuz this is all you're getting: The oldies station played the Stupid Dead Human Elvis' song "Treat Me Nice," wherein he entreats some sweet young thang to "Run your pretty fingers through my hair." EWWW! His hair had the same brand of 30-weight oil Jerry Lewis uses! It'd be like running your fingers through the La Brea Tar Pits.

Not good enough? I laughed at this pic: Family Circus: Episode 1. "Who cut Darth Maul in half?" "NOT ME!"

11/24

You'd think 1 of the 3 busiest days of the year would generate some prime SHAWTery, eh? Nope. You'd think with the mile-long endless lines all day, I'd at least have something to report on some cranky asswipe, yes? Nope. Everyone was in a pretty good mood, including your overworked narrator. A crazy hectic adrenalin-rush sat-down-for-5-minutes-in-12-hours kinda good, but still good. Maybe it was the weather. It is NOT supposed to be 65 degrees in New England, less than a month before Winter.
I made at least 1 person thankful today. Guy was counting his money & didn't notice dropping $30 on the floor. He was so preoccupied I practically had to chase him down with it. He thanked me twice & shook my hand. "I have a wife & 5 kids--You saved my life!" Well--prly not his LIFE, but $30 is $30, especially on the poor side of town.
I maybe come across in this thing as some embittered crank. I'm really not. I shake my head at stupidity cuz I want to live in a world where everyone is not dumb & not rude. I'm really not much of a complaining guy...My life's the best it's ever been right now, & the lives of my friends are pretty damn good right now too. Plus, I have a shoebox to live in & a Matchbox car to drive in, a good-paying job, &--of course--a beloved small furry white friend who depends on me (who's currently tipping over the kitchen trash can AGAIN). And a 10k/hits a month Yahoo Pick of the Week website, BABY! Yup, stuff to be thankful for.
I hope you guys have plenty to be thankful for, also. That goes for those of you who I know (you know who you are--if you don't, check your wallets; there's prly some ID in there), & you anonymous folks (from what I can glean, college students, a magician, < gilligans >"and the rest."< /gilligans >Enjoy your squash and/or big basted bird, & maybe I'll actually have something funny to relate on Friday.

11/26

Happy Leftover Turkey Day.
Every time I go to the fridge, Kill Kill runs over & whines: "Wheeeere's my turkey?!" Poor kitty. I was a negligent mother & ran out of Iams kitten food on Tgiving, 1 of only 3 days a year when I'd be unable to buy any until the following day. Her own fault, really, since we'd have plenty if she didn't keep eating it. Me, I had so much turkey that I spent the 1st few hours awake today with an L-Tryptophan hangover. I just wanted to crawl back into bed & digest some more.
I was lucky to get turkey. My sister Pat preordered a 27-lb 1. She picked it up at the Big Y, turned her back for a moment & found that someone had swiped it & left a 10-lb frozen 1 in it's place. She went back to the butcher & he replaced the changeling gobbler with a 22-lber. And a good thing, as that 1 barely fit into her oven. I wonder how the thief fared, with a turkey 3 times the size of the 1 he originally chose. Maybe he boiled it. In the bathtub.
When she told me the story, Mom said, "Oh, everyone in the world has heard that story!" Now that it's on the Web, it's possible.
Sister Sue is getting a dog. Or doggie, to be more precise, as it's 1 of them pug critters. She read from a dog breed encyclopedia its virtues, & it's downside: The doggie "gulps air in order to make itself gassy." Now there's something I look for in a pet. Some dogs drool, some fart. You got your drooling breeds, you got your farting breeds. Too bad they haven't bred 1 right down the middle, but thank gourd they haven't cross-bred the lines, either. I suggested naming it "Flatula" or "Windbreaker." There is 1 advantage..."That wasn't me, the dog did it. No, really, look it up in this book."

11/27

The Liquor Commission was out tonight, sending in underage kids to buy as part of a sting. They hit the place across the street from our main store, which had failed the test last time. They never came to us, but we'd be nuts not to be extra-vigilant anyway. 2 weiners came in. 1 had no ID & was aghast that we even asked him. "I'm 22!" Gee, you don't look a day over 20 years, 11 months, 30 days & 23 hours. "I left it at some girl's house, " he said, in this tone of Here's My Iron-Clad Alibi. If only Sacco & Vanzetti's lawyer had remembered the Girl's House Loophole, they'd be alive today. "Un-fuckin'-believable!" he said when we very politley explained why we couldn't sell to the lil cocksucking jerk. Oops, I meant "future customer." Kristen took the brunt of their tantrum, & wasn't happy about it. It occured to me too late that I should've called the next nearest stores, & told them that these twerps were part of the sting, so under no circumstances should they sell to them...I'll use that the next time this happens.

11/30

It's hard at times to feign true interest in the weather, at least when every human through the door has to make small talk about it. I knew today's topic of endlessly repeated conversation would be the fact that we got our 1st true taste of winter today, complete with a little bit of snow. It's worth saying *once* that it was 68 degrees on Fri & less than half that for a high today, but not much more than once.
I walked into the store & immediately said, "What's that stink?" Rudy said "They're tarring the roof." I instantly knew what I was going to hear for the rest of the day. Eventually I tired of explaining The Smell, & said things like "The heat broke so we lit a fire to warm the place, but all we had were some old tires. Bad idea, now that I think about it" or "We're going to bottle The Smell & sell it as perfume." GUY: "Eau de Roof?" ME: "No, Eau My God That Stinks." After sunset they kept working, causing 2 guys to run in saying "I think your roof's on fire!" I hoped for a 3rd, so I could shriek "OH my GOD! We're all gonna die!" & knock him over as I ran for the door. "Grab a shopping cart & help us save the single-malt Scotch!"
I got used to The Smell after a while. Then, it started to smell kinda good. Then, I started to see pretty swirling colors. Then, I could TASTE the MUSIC!!! GROOVY, MAAAAN!!!

12/1

The Big Stink: Day 2. I was pushing a shopping cart full of cardboard, when it nudged a stack of wine boxes about 4 inches. 4 inches too much. 3 liters of Rutherford merlot flooded the floor.
I should've done it earlier. It helped cover the tar stink.
The holidays are upon us, & I think today's was Impatient Twit Day. I was checking in a giant shipment of boozy goodness while Rudy helped carry the purchase of some recently hip-replaced senior out to his car. He didn't tell me he was leaving me alone in the store as there wasn't anyone else in there. But a few seconds before he returned, a sweet little old lady grabbed some whiskey & gently caught my attention by bellowing "ARE YOU GONNA TAKE MY MONEY OR NOT?!" If I were in her place, I would've said something rude like "Hi!" or "Excuse me!" but then again I am such an asshole. Minutes after her welcome departure, another woman waited a good 3 seconds before drumming her fingers on the counter while doing the Spin 'n' Glare (this is where they turn & stare at you, as if I won't know that they're there unless THEY can see ME--sorta like a lil kid who thinks he's invisible if he covers his eyes). She said "I want 10 Cash 5 quick picks with--" "We got rid of our Lotto machine 2 weeks ago," I say, mentally picturing how the employees went at the thing with pickaxes & chainsaws--No, wait, that's how we wanted to get rid of it. Hmm, I should do a Thank Gourd Almighty I'm Free At Last, I'm Free Of Lotto At Last rant at some point.
The christening of the floor with wine occured at a point where there was no way you could get past the wreckage. 1 woman sighed oh-so-theatrically over the burden of getting to the beer cooler the LONG WAY around (adding about 6 freakin feet to her round trip). Immediately after her, some dink asked if he "could squeeze through behind you." Yeah, 4 inches of clearance, I don't want no guy that close to MY butt, thenkyew. "Better go that way, it's pretty gooey here." He unhappily went the other way (oh no, that extra 6 feet has killed stronger men than me!) mumbling "Oh my God, it's the End of the World!" Which I guess was sarcasm, as it couldn't've been irony, what with me not being the 1 soiling his Depends over this Apocalyptic catastrophe.
6 extra feet of not walking through broken glass & sticky stuff. But that's enough to actually raise some pinhead's blood pressure. If they were on my end of the mop & dealing with themselves, they'd die. Just die, head exploding like in Scanners from the terrible stress. Maybe I'm odd, but I'd like to spend as much of my free time as possible not walking on broken glass.

12/2

The classical station is playing a Hanukkah special. Right now, I'd convert just for some crispy latkes.

A young dude presents his ID--a Resident Alien card. I get the Great Big Book O' IDs to look it up (it's a VERY Big Book--if you ever want to see an ID from American Samoa, this is the book). It's not in there. Well, I can't tell a real 1 from a fake 1 if I've never seen 1. I turn him down, & he offers a 2nd ID. A college ID. Yeah, college kids, they're world-renowned for never using fake IDs or drinking illegally.

You know, Judaism has a much more believable central miracle than any of this stuff, or Christianity's central miracle, Fat Guy Puts Poekmons Under Every Not-Poor-Person's Tree All At Once, Ho Ho Ho. I am gonna convert! SIGN ME UP, & pass the latkes! Huh? Get WHAT cut off?!
They'd better be DAMN GOOD LATKES!

12/3

Mike Snard writes me that he & his wife like onion latkes. She prefers them with syrup. Umm...That's not why they're called potato pancakes. Bread comes in loaves, but don't put peanut butter & jelly on the meatloaf, please.

Here's another 1 that won't make sense unless you're subjected to 48 hours a week of the Oldies station: I have a question about the Chuck Berry song "Kansas City." You know--"There's some crazy little women there/And I'm gonna get me 1." I don't question that bit (I can think of 3 little women near Kansas City MO that are pretty crazy), but there's that line about the exciting night on the town he's planned for his crazed lunatic girlfriend: "Standin' on the corner drinkin' a bottle of Kansas City wine." Wow, cheap date. But--wine from Kansas?? What is it, fermented corn oil? "Yes, I'd like a bottle of Chateau Sainte Mazola Merlot & a Beringer Wheat Zinfandel, please--The perfect match for a meal of Sonic onion rings." (This is the advantage of this page over the InExOb--If only 1 person gets the joke, it's still a good 10% of my audience)

12/4

MIKE: I need to see your ID.
SHAWT: Here. (hands him a photocopy of a passport)
How lame! Be more creative! "Here's an impressionistic watercolor of my driver's license. Now, I shall do an interpretive dance of my birth certificate."

12/7

I did my laundry yesterday.
Oh boyoboy, you say, thank God for the Web, so that I can find out when a total stranger on the other side of the continent washes his soiled undies. The point to this announcement is that I had to go outside to get to the laundry room, & I wasn't wearing a coat. We're having Indian Winter up here, & having it for the foreseeable future. Global warming's just a theory, though! I went to the Salvation Army & they had the doors open. I bought an addition to the Odd Ashtray collection--a nekked woman on her stomach, with the inscription "Watch your Butt"--GEDDIT? If I were her, I'd put some clothes on, as a minor manufacturing defect put what looked like an Eisenhower Dollar-sized pus-filled boil on her leg. Better up the SPF, darling.
As I left the SA, an out-of-state auto emissions sticker caught my eye. Don't know why; it's not like they have any real fascination for me. But it caused me to look at my own sticker & notice that it'd expired the day before. So off I went to get tested. Lucky again; I found a future InExOb right next door. They make you get out of the car & go into a waiting room "for your safety" (what, so I don't run myself over?). I noticed a card taped to their monitor: "Keep an eye out for 1978 Camaro lic plate [#]. Make sure to ck for cats." I've always felt that Dadaists work at the DMV. When the guy held the mirror-on-a-stick under my chassis, I thought he was making sure that I wasn't going to try to pass the test by disconnecting my tailpipe; I guess it was really the Mandatory Cat Check. Or he wanted to make sure I wasn't hiding a Camaro down there.
I got some more junk mail from the Testerex people (always identifiable by that inevitably used pic of their "lab," showing the woman at the sneeze guard). This time it's not my time-withered testicles they're concerned about (I'm not DAMN OLD ENOUGH to get these mailings!!), but my arthritis. OK, I really did spend a big chunk of time in the hospital for that, but I was age TWO, not 90). Wow! Their "2 accidental discoveries" (are we suspicious yet, boys & girls?) not only CURE arthritis, they REVERSE the effects! DAMN YOU, NOBEL PRIZE COMMITTEE! Give Gero Vita Labs the prize already! The miracle ingredient: Collagen. Woo, Pamela Lee's lips will never get arthritis! OK, it's chicken collagen, which I don't understand. Chickens don't have lips. The pamphlet is so full of ad hoc arguments & conspiricies that it resembles a Usenet post. Punchline: "Unconditional full money back guarantee after 30 days!" "Do not expect results in less than 90 days."

Oh, wait--this is about SHAWTs, right? I believe I heard the Mission Statement for SHAWTery today:
"Now I've got to THINK! I HATE that!"

120799.1: I forgot to add the Latest Review of a Movie You Can't See: Princess Mononoke. It was a delayed viewing--We were supposed to go last week, but on the way KMDS got a $178 speeding ticket (58 in a 35 zone), blowing our time frame. So we went this week. "This had better be good," he said, "It's already the most expensive movie I've seen!"
The End Credits rolled. We sat motionless. When the lights went up, I said "Holy SHIT."
OK. I ain't Roger Ebert. But it's simply the best animated movie ever. Hardly kiddie stuff--hell, given the unmitigated SHIT that passes for "adult entertainment" these days, way above the taste of most "adults." Beautiful true animation, perfect dubbing (by Neil "Sandman" Gaiman--it was so much hard work doing it right that he's sworn off doing it ever again), & the story...At no point did I have the slightest clue where it was going. KMDS had gone to a free sneak preview of End of Days before this. "Totally cliched" was his review. That thing was Hollywood Product, the exact opposite of this movie. PM didn't even have "villians," just carefully drawn characters inhabiting this fully realized world. The "bad guys" were motivated by what they saw was good--and, seen from their viewpoints, they were right. I didn't like what the Lady of Iron Town decided to do, but I DID want Iron Town & its people to survive, no matter what. Sadly, like Iron Giant before it, it's getting no corporate push. And why would they? Sure, they'd make a bundle, but they'd raise the stakes of the game they're already winning. Cartoons are for KIDS! And not very bright kids. Pokemon: The 1st Load of Crap, my ass. Let's keep America's lowest common denominator so low it's a negative number. I'd give you the url for where it's showing in your part of the country, but it looks like a Browser Crash Party is imminent, so I'll give it to you tmw. Or look yourself, you big lazy muffin butts.

12/8

I contributed to Computer Stupidities again. And here we end another New:

10 years ago I was a manager for Rite Aid Drugs. They decided to put PCs in all their stores for processing the daily sales reports. We were instructed to never turn the computers off, despite the fact that they bought PCs without screen savers. The cheap program these notorious tightwads bought would simply stay on the main menu screen, so I got in the habit of turning the monitor off when I wasn't using it. My district supervisor demanded to know if this could "mess up the computer." I explained the concept of "screen burn-in," and pointed out that it was like thinking that if you turn your TV off, HBO goes off the air.
He didn't believe me. Sure enough, we soon received a memo from corporate telling us to never turn the monitors off, so we "don't lose any data."
I quit not long after this, so I never did find out how many monitors in their 2,000 store chain had to be replaced.