INEXPLICABLE OBJECT OF THE WEEK

Week of 5/31/98:

Doll Food

You know those "drink and wet" dolls? Baby Alive was an attempt to update the concept into an "eat and shit" doll. Little Missy would mix up some flavored gruel and baby's battery-operated mouth would "chew" it, before squirting Cheery Cherry-colored diarrhea into its Pampers.

Oddly, the concept was a failure.

My first real job was head cashier for Kay Bee Toys, and I was expected to get "tie-in" sales, such as, "Would you like some incredibly over-priced batteries for that toy?" My manager said to be sure to tie-in these Baby Alive Food Refills with each doll sold. I asked him, "What should I say? Pardon me, ma'am, but would you like some shit to go with that baby?"

©1998 Bill Young