Week of 12/17/00:
WEEK 140
And the stinking will Full the air
Vietnam-era American jets flying cover for the Nazis. Cute.
Here's another one I bought at the same time.
It's "BOY!" Don't know what BOY's been eating, but I hope I never dine there.
Human skulls that have been farted to death. Cute.
When I saved the scan of this, I meant to save it as "fartboy.jpg," but I typed a little too fast and named it "fratboy." Seems rather apropo, yes?
It turns out that I'm not alone in liking these things. Arthur "Johnny Bananapeel" Simmons of Squalor found a newer version of the same one:
Kind of destroys all those childhood fantasies you had about Daisy Duke, doesn't it?
If you're going to have farts with this much explosive force, it's probably best to wear underwear. Made of Kevlar.
Here's the back of this package:
"Eating Prohibited."
Gee, usually the first thing I order in a restaurant is a big heapin' plate of Fart Bombs.
Further down we're politely asked "Please do not put in mouth," just in case we're still uncertain whether or not this is a new item on the Taco Bell menu.
How does one "Drop the bag beside the object," when the object's inside the bag? It's like being told to "drop your body beside your spleen."
Note that this product can not be used by 0-7 Unhappy Snorks. Wait, Snorks don't have noses. 0-7 Jack'o'lanterns maybe? 0-7 babies with handy carrying straps?
Do not use this product around babies aged zero. Babies aged negative numbers are okay. I mean, it says not to put it in your mouth, but it says nothing about the womb. Nine months of lying around doing nothing must get dull. Let Fart Bomb liven Junior's day!
Here's a tag that Mr Bananapeel sent from the 99 Cent Store where he bought the bomb:
Truth in Advertising.
On an unrelated note...
INEXPLICABLE LINK OF THE WEEK
©2000 Bill Young