Week of 7/2/00:
WEEK 116
BAD PEDS!
Kim the Negaduck sent me this pamphlet. She asks,
"Who's comforting who?"
Sick minds must think alike, as a week before I'd found this label on a case of wine:
"One day, Mr Ped got very, very lonely, and Mr Box looked really, really sexy..."
The Bad Ped picture at the top of the page is from Richard C. Moeur's Home Page, which is an encyclopedic listing of traffic signs.
It's interesting that today this is considered a Valuable Web Resource, when 10 years ago it would've been an obsessive-complusive disorder that made Mommy and Daddy send you to a place where the Twinkies had a cream filling that's 87% Thorazine.
He has a list of the Government's "Warning, Don't Run Me Over" signs.
Do I really need to know the exact subspecies of whatever 500 pound quadruped I'm about to crash my car into?
"Hmm, the sign said 'Beware of Mountain Goats,' but that's an elk. Guess I don't need to slow down then."
Oddly, the burro is not being led by a grizzled old prospector, so grizzled old prospectors are okay to smash. At least that's what I'm telling the cops if they catch me hosing prospector off of my front bumper.
Now we're just getting into Carmeggedon teritory. You know killing the horse with the guy on it is worth more points.
No, I don't think that this is funny.
There's a town I drive through about once a month that has this sign on their main road, and I grip the wheel as tightly as possible when I see it. The wheelchair crossing is on a blind curve. On the downside of a hill. Nice planning, hospital dudes! Why didn't you put up a "gurney crossing" sign between the heart transplant ward and the emergency room?
A snowmobile crossing sign just makes me want to speed up and wish that my front bumper was a log with big spikes sticking out of it.
BAM!
Wow, there's one less snowmobiler and America's collective IQ just jumped a point.
But why does the guy have a Pac-Man head?
Here's my favorite, the Freeway Crossing sign from California:
Well, that's how I'd cross the freeway, too.
Quickly.
©2000 Bill Young